March 10th, 2009 by iyahthought
A sudden non-tolerable feeling sometimes sinks unto my being. It happens whenever I think of those unforgettable memories of my past. But most of the time, it forcefully knock against my mind whenever I browse somebody else’s profile and read those comments and blogs. Teary-eyed I am, almost all the time. Close to being so low and down. But who is to blame for this feeling that can not be avoided even if I close all pores and post a no-enter sign. So I welcome Ms. Jealousy.
It’s so hard to admit it. That I am jealous. Not with a gal nor with a guy. And definitely not with a gay.
Perhaps they assumed that I really shut myself out just not to be with them. In all those important occasions of their lives, I am ABSENT. But my mind isn’t. But who is going to believe me if I say that anyway.
I’ve done what I know could bring back what has been gone but it seems that it wasn’t enough. And I’ve felt and realized that I’m really no longer included on each of their list, maybe I am… right there at the bottom. Now I’m sad. But that’s life.
Now I’m crying
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