worry no more ?

For the last two years, I've been complaining about my aching right upper back. It usually attacks in the afternoon and worst at bed time. My most comfortable sleeping position will be freefall position which I know will only lessen the pain. I've tried the soldier position thinking that lying flat on my back, having both of my shoulder parallel will take the pain away as I sleep but it only makes the feeling worst. So I just free-fall.. =)

I am expecting farewell.. goodbye.. resignation.. but pain just took a day off. Now it's keeping my afternoon always on a worrying mode. Thinking of the worst possible scenario freaks me out.

So I decided to see a doctor and I were advised to undergo chest x-ray and I immediately did. The technician told me that I may not be able to get the result that same day. It worries me. Seeing him looking at a machine generated x-ray, which I suppose is mine, made me think that he saw something on that x-ray. It worries me more.

What if there really is something wrong with my lungs or my heart? I remembered one time when I was to enter collegel, to have your medical done is one of the requirements. So I went to this public hospital to have my x-ray done. And when the result came, I was not that worried that time but my parents. I've been given medication for my lungs and heart which they found out have abnormalities. Since it is a public hospital, I've received not just a pack of medicine but a handful of it. But I don't remember taking any of those for my parents doesn't want me to. They said that it might be a mistake which we didn't find out anyway. Those times were like hearing a bad news, having doubt about it until all were forgotten. I've finished college, meaning we requested for another radiologic findings and we were given one.

The good thing is I didn't feel any pain after that. I could even breathe normally except when colds just starts to invade me. Such a misery for me. When it comes to health, there is one that fears me. Asthma - the return of the come back. It bid its goodbye even before I reach my 7 years of existence here. I was so lucky. They say if it didnt leave me that time, I'll suffer for the rest of my life. Now, it is just colds that makes me suffer. If there is a word worst that suffer, that is how colds affects me.

Back to where I was. =) The result was handed to me the next day and I didnt read the impression first. I read it carefully, from the first line up to the last one which is the impression. And I was glad with the result. :)

and here it goes:

Chest:
Both lung fields are essentially clear

Heart is normal in size

Diaphragm and sulci are intact (Wikipedia, Help!)

The osseous structures are unremarkable (huh?)

IMPRESSION:    ESSENTIALLY NORMAL CHEST

Yehhhhaaa!

I have no scoliosis!

I have no broken bones!

Just muscle pain like my doctor said before she advised me to undergo x-ray.

hihihi!

One thing is for sure, the radiologic findings way back in college is proven to be incorrect.

Worry free? but I have these damn colds again!

Lessons Learned a year before 2011

Down to the first two hour of 2011 and yet I am still awake coz I just ate a big time meal or fully loaded like others describe it. Haven't burp yet so I guess I still need to spare little more of my time on something and it leave me realizing on what 2010 instilled in me and here they goes:

1. When he said he likes you, take time analyzing why he said that. Even if you already did like him too, don't say it right away. Better keep it to yourself until he says he loves you.
2. When he asked you if you are a flirt and answered "no" when you asked him if he thought you are, don't believe him. He would not bother asking that question if he didn't think that you are a flirt.
3. When he told you that you just won't understand even if he explained, it's just only his way of saying "I don't want you to know." or "Get lost!"
4. When he replied on your email, it doesn't mean you two are okay. He just doesn't want to be called rude even if he already is. Well he thought he isn't after making you feel stupid of thinking that there is something going on between the two of you.
5. When he asked if you are okay, it doesn't matter if u answered a "yes" or a "no". He won't reply if you said "yes" and the same goes with a "no". He won't even bother asking why.

All these fall into a phrase that from the start "He is just not that into you."

6. A light violet hair color will turn your black hair into somewhat like burgundy. Don't rely on number code for hair color for it won't result like the sample. Believe me, Chestnut is not the medium brown. I like the result though.
7. If you are planning to buy a Cellphone with a camera, check first if it has a flash so the output picture at night will not be just... BLACK.
8. Don't book any flight scheduled few months before, you'll just get disappointed after finding out that it will only be you who could go.

9. Not all pictures can capture happiness and pain for sometimes people smile even when in pain.
10. When someone closes their door for you, a window is willing to open to welcome you.
11. To recover from a terrible heartache, first you have to accept the fact that everything has to changed. Then forgive, let go, forget. To forget someone, start with keeping out of sight those that reminds you of him. Then move on and don't ever close your door from anyone.
12. It isn't bad to forget someone you used to love.
13. It isn't bad to cry from time to time, when the haunting happens coz it helps.
14. Not everyone will understand what you are going through and you dont need to explain to each of them why. If they really know you, they'll understand you even when your in silence.
15. There are people you will meet for you to learn some lessons in life and love. And meeting someone doesn't guarantee you that they will stay for some are meant to come only for a short period of time.
16. People have different views and most of the time it is a lot different from yours. Well I guess age gap has something to do with it. So don't argue with someone a lot older than you when you hear them saying bad things about a person coz for them, what they are saying isn't bad. It is an opinion that i myself labeled as a blinded one. They forget how to be sensitive of other people's feelings. They judge on what they can see but not with how they feel and know about the person. I pity them.
17. A close friend of mine texted me this: "Everyone has to feel the hurt for them to appreciate the person that can make them smile." From then on, I started to feel that the person that caused my pain doesn't worth anymore of my tears and I begin to really move on and open my heart to someone else, to someone that can make me smile again. =)
18. There are people that can be forgotten easily. Those that you hurt.
19. There are people you just can't forget. Those who hurt you.
20. There are love that can not simply fade even if it is a love for someone you know you can not be with for the rest of your life.

I know there are more but I just could not remember them all and I hate being like a person who easily forgets everything sometimes.